


Human Nature

by MiraMeraki



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 13:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3448412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraMeraki/pseuds/MiraMeraki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before fighting Oktavia von Seckendorff, Kyoko comes to Homura seeking a way to save Sayaka's soul.  Takes place during episode 9.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Nature

"Despite her appearances, she's the most hurt."

\- Miki Sayaka, _The Rebellion Story_

 

* * *

 "Help me," she said.

Homura glanced up at Kyoko for a brief second. There had been a time, a long, long month ago, when those two words would have elicited a much stronger response. Sympathy, because "help me" were two words branded to the lips of a bedridden girl. Concern, because none of the oh so kind and loving people of this world should need to suffer. And of course, action, because it was supposedly human nature to help those in need.

But Homura had since shed those beliefs. "Help me" was also used by Kyubey to lure Madoka into a witch labyrinth.

Once again, Homura looked to the doorway where Kyoko was standing. She had never heard Kyoko beg before. Ask for information on Walpurgis Night, yes; request more food, most certainly yes. But never beg. And especially not to Homura. It was… unbecoming of her. Homura didn't like the way it made her stomach turn.

With the pouring rain outside, Homura couldn't tell if it was rain water or tears that dripped from Kyoko's eyelashes. In all honesty, it was probably better that way.

"Help me save her," she said.

Homura's ring scraped against the metal as she undid the door chain.

* * *

 "Tell me how to save her," she said.

Homura only pursed her lips and gestured for Kyoko to sit across from her. Above their heads, a pendulum swung back and forth.

Ever so briefly, a mere heartbeat longer than a blink, Homura let her eyes flicker close. She had only encountered this conversation four or five times before, and none had ever been preceded by the same events. Kyoko had always come before Sayaka's despair, never after. Now, Kyoko had come to Homura with despair of her own. Though not the insanity of Miki Sayaka's, Homura could not mistake its presence. It lingered behind the eyes, a fog hidden behind a thin veil of hope. Blinding. Dangerous. Homura didn't know what Kyoko would be capable of this time. "I didn't expect you to return here," Homura decided to say. "Not after tonight."

"What do you mean?" asked Kyoko.

Homura raised her eyebrows by no more than a centimeter, then pointedly tugged on the collar of her school uniform.

_Kyoko felt the stiff fabric crumple in her fist. "Who the hell do you think you are?" she demanded, her eyes glinting brightly in the dim light of the oncoming train. "Are you just showing off that you know everything? How dare you say those things to her?! She was Sayaka's… Sayaka's best friend," she finished mournfully._

_Homura's eyes simply slid down to the gravel, and to Madoka weeping as Sayaka lay still in the dirt. "You understand everything completely now, don't you? That everything you have seen up to this point contains a darker truth beneath."_

_She pushed away Kyoko's hand. "Since you have brought her body out of the witch labyrinth, you must be careful. If you simply dump it in an alley, there will be trouble."_

_Kyoko gritted her teeth. "Are you even still human?!"_

_"Of course not," replied Homura, meeting Kyoko's gaze unflinchingly. "Neither are you."_

_Then she walked away, her ebony hair flowing in a wind carrying smoking metal and rotting bodies_.

"I don't regret any of what I said," Homura told her. "To you or Madoka."

"Heh, I didn't think you would. It wouldn't be like you, _transfer student_."

Homura winced.

"Yeah, bet you don't like the sound of that now, huh?" she said before dropping her voice. "I'll never forgive you, you know. You could have saved Miki Sayaka, and instead you pointed a gun at her head."

The pendulum continued to swing. "Then why come to me for help?"

"'Cause I've already talked to that son of a bitch Kyubey, and if you're going to negotiate with a piece of scum, might as well go all the way down."

Light bounced off Homura's silken hair. "If you're going to be a bitch, might as well do it without the pretty lies, I used to tell Tomoe Mami. I almost missed your company, Sakura Kyoko."

"Well, that makes one of us," Kyoko replied. "So, will you tell me how to save Miki Sayaka?"

Homura crossed her arms. "Am I your last authority on this subject?"

Kyoko chewed on her lip, then nodded. "Pretty much, yeah," she grunted. "I mean, you know things even Kyubey doesn't. If anyone would know, I bet it'd be you."

"You misunderstand me," Homura said. "I meant, if I tell you she cannot be saved, will you give up hope on Miki Sayaka? You must decide if I am to continue."

After what felt like an eternity, Kyoko nodded.

At once, Homura stood up so that her face was half concealed in the shadow of the pendulum. Holding out her hand, she willed her silver ring to transform into her Soul Gem, then placed it in the center of the table. "The third law of thermodynamics," she began, pointing the amethyst gem as she paced back and forth, "states that a perfect, pure crystal at absolute zero has zero entropy. Of course, this law has been mere conjecture, as absolute zero has yet to be found by human scientists. However, Kyubey and the race of Incubators possess the technological advancements to keep our souls in this state of equilibrium. Our despair is counteracted by hope derived from the grief of others. In this way, Soul Gems remain balanced."

Homura's fist closed around the gem, its unworldly violet glow pulsating sickly between her pale fingers. "What you must understand about the Incubators is that they are rationality personified. For them, Miki Sayaka's love for Kamijo Kyosuke, her friendship with Kaname Madoka, and her yearning to bring justice to an unfair world are little more than reactants in a chemical equation. Those emotions are nothing save for what they can accomplish. Miki Sayaka's hopelessness acted as a catalyst that tipped the balance of her soul, thus starting the conversion from hope to despair. All the energy and vitality she possessed when she made her wish has now already been used in the fight against entropy, the Incubators' sole objective. Her despair is but a precipitate, the useless dregs that remain. Just as you cannot create another bonfire from scattered ashes, so too is Miki Sayaka's soul lost."

"I don't believe you," Kyoko said. "You're wrong."

Homura took her seat and folded her hands in her lap. "You came to me seeking answers; did you honestly expect me to tell you a fairytale about love and courage winning over evil? You've been a _mahou shoujo_ long enough to know better. You deserve better than such a lie."

"I never said you were lying to me," replied Kyoko, throwing her head back in a choking kind of laughter. "You're just stupid, like Kyubey. Sayaka's more than a chemical equation of feelings or whatever. She has a soul. You don't just lose a soul, not when you despair, not even when you die. That's the whole damn point of having a soul."

"The day we made the contract is the day we sold our souls to the devil," Homura replied as she stared up at the invisible swinging pendulum. "Your father must have taught you that there can be no salvation after that."

"I don't buy that, _transfer student_ ," Kyoko replied, "because there's something, way deep down inside of you, that keeps you fighting. Why else would you know what you know and not turn into a witch?"

"Because I still have a debt to pay," replied Honura, still gazing up at the ceiling. "I was forsaken long ago, but there is someone who can still escape this cruel cycle of fate."

"Kaname Madoka?"

Homura met Kyoko's eyes and nodded. "She can still be saved."

"But Sayaka can't."

"The affairs of Miki Sayaka should be irrelevant to you, regardless. She is not the one for whom you sacrificed your soul."

"Heh, wrong again. See, I didn't make the contract just to help my father. I did it 'cause it was _right_. He was preaching honest truth about how at heart, human beings were designed for goodness. I sacrificed myself for that. If I can make one last use of my sacrifice before I die, it'll be because even in despair, that's still _Sayaka's_ despair. She's in there, I know it. Deep inside, there's a tiny blue light, the light of her Soul Gem, filled with her humanity, her goodness. It _can_ be saved."

Homura's purple eyes were murky in the shadowy light. "You truly believe that the Sayaka you knew possessed humanity?"

Kyoko nodded once. "Not like you'd know anything about it, _transfer student_."

"Perhaps you're correct. I suppose we'll just have to see." Homura stood up, her ebony hair flaring around her as the click of her heels echoed in the vast white room.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kyoko demanded once Homura came to a stop in front of her.

The light in Homura's eyes was too sharp, like sunlight glinting off a sword. "Saving you."

Then she pulled out a gun and shot Kyoko in the head.

Once more, only the steady click-click of her heels could be heard as Homura bent down and gently removed the rune ring from Kyoko's motionless body. It was a pleasant warmth in the palm of her hand. Then, careful to avoid touching the dark red blood, she brushed aside Kyoko's bangs. Already she could see the circular gun wound close up, growing smaller and smaller, until not even a scar remained.

"Do you consider that human?" Homura demanded, her neutral tone unwavering as she watched Kyoko stand in a puddle of her own blood.

Kyoko started shaking the blood off her shoes, but already the white soles were stained a rusted brown. "Heh, if you're trying to get me to despair, you're doing a pretty shitty job of it."

"I'm making you face reality," Homura replied, turning away. "I once believed you were different from Tomoe Mami, but now I see you're just as blind as she was. There is no hope for you, not anymore. The life you once knew is now dead."

"Then what the hell do you expect me to do?" Kyoko demanded.

Without any warning, the entire room went dark. When light returned, Kyoko could see dozens of floating pictures of Walpurgis Night, dating back centuries and centuries, on all four sides of the wall.

"Fight," Homura replied simply. "Walpurgis Night will descend upon this city by the end of the month. When she comes, it is likely that thousands will die when they are dragged into her labyrinth. In order to defeat her, both of us must fight her together."

The shadow of the pendulum seemed to physically drag out the silence until it came to rest above Kyoko's head. "No."

More silence. Homura tilted her head back, her lips mouthing numbers with each swing of the pendulum.

"Are you a nutcase?" demanded Kyoko.

"No. I'm simply keeping time while I wait for the rest of your brain to regenerate. You did not give me a proper answer."

"Idiot. According to you, I have no reason to fight Walpurgis Night. You just said I have no humanity. Well, if that's the case, human death and suffering shouldn't bother me at all. I can't benefit, so Mitakihara can be blown to bits for all I care."

"Don't twist my words, Sakura Kyoko; you'll simply embarrass yourself," replied Homura, folding her hands in her lap. "You are a _mahou shoujo_ that has yet to despair into a witch. Thus, you still carry a candle of hope within you. There is a part of you that still chooses to fight for your father's teachings about human righteousness. You will fight Walpurgis Night for this reason, and this alone. But in order to do so, you _must_ give up hope on Miki Sayaka if you are to face Walpurgis Night without any weaknesses."

"Oh? And why are you gonna fight, huh?" Kyoko's eyes narrowed into slits of fire. "I know why. It isn't about saving thousands or any of that crap to you, is it? No, it never was. Sayaka was right about you. Your eyes say you've given up. Everything you say is empty. No, like you said, you're just gonna fight for your sick wish. You just wanna play hero for Kaname Madoka, don't you? And you dare talk about fighting for wishes, and sacrificing yourself for the ones you love, and then you turn around and tell me to fight 'cause you're too weak to save her yourself? If you think I'd ever buy into that, whatever the hell's happened to Miki Sayaka will seem like a blessing when I finish with you. Let Mitakihara City burn."

"You cannot possibly understand my feelings," Homura answered. "Leave my motives to my own discretion."

Kyoko flashed Homura a toothy smile. "Sounds like something Kyubey would say."

Her smile only grew when she saw Homura's fists curl tighter around the hem of her skirt. "Yeah, I can see it now. You knew, didn't you, what Kyubey did to our souls, but you didn't say anything, as if you thought we'd be too weak to know the truth. You knew about the witches too, but I guess you just thought we'd be too stupid to understand. And even when we first met, you started saying things like 'I'm an ally to the calm, and the enemy to those who fight without reason,' as if I were just some reckless hothead in your way."

Faster than Homura could blink, Kyoko began advancing towards her. "There you were, always acting like you were smarter than us, better than us. But in the end, you were just exacting your own agenda. Admit it. You wanted Tomoe Mami to die. Admit it. You want Miki Sayaka to despair for good, too. Admit it, admit it!" she demanded, spitting in front of Homura. "You have no right to pass judgment on me or tell me what to fight for, because you sure as hell aren't a magical girl. You're nothing more than an Incubator for Kaname Madoka."

Homura rose to look Kyoko directly in the eye, wild fire meeting flawless ice. "And thus is why you could never save your family. You're a weakling, Sakura Kyoko. Don't you know? There is no sin I wouldn't commit if it was to protect Kaname Madoka. It is for this reason you saw me prepare to murder Miki Sayaka. Yet you did not understand me. Ah, but you said it yourself, did you not? You claim humanity, but you only know of your own selfish interests. If you truly wished to save Sayaka's soul, you would understand the lengths to which I have gone for Madoka's sake."

When Homura stepped forward, the lights began to flicker and die. "You cannot fathom what you are about to witness. The misdeeds I have committed in hopes of her salvation, the wrongs made right in her name. Yes, you're correct. The deliverance of Kaname Madoka has been my only purpose. However, if I could save Sayaka for the purpose of having her aid in the oncoming battle against Walpurgis Night, I would. It was never my intention to have Tomoe Mami or Miki Sayaka die. Never accuse me of that. But never expect me to mourn, either. I did not wish for their deliverance. I have no right to grieve their deaths. I took away that right the day I traded my soul for Kaname Madoka."

From an unknown source, a deathly soft voice whispered in the dark, _"So this is the end…. Well then… what do you say we become witches together… and tear this world apart? Then none of the pain… or sadness… would remain. Destroy, destroy, destroy it all…."_

The lights turned on, and Kyoko opened her eyes to see faded images of Homura and Madoka lying together in a river, while Walpurgis Night and the witch Kriemhild Gretchen joined hands to turn Mitakihara City upside down. At first the images were pitiful, as sobs wracked Homura's body while she knelt next to Madoka's still form. But gradually, there came a point in the millions upon millions of images where there was no sobbing, no shock, no weakness. Just Homura walking away from another timeline of death and despair.

"And see the result of my wish? See how much stronger I have forced myself to become for her sake? You would never know this, Sakura Kyoko, but I am dying. I can feel it, my heart withering away with each passing second. My entire body rebelling against the fight that I have undertaken. Yet still I fight, because of her. You called me an Incubator for Kaname Madoka. I can know no greater joy. Now tell me, could you make such a sacrifice for Miki Sayaka?"

Homura allowed herself a smirk when Kyoko remained silent. "Of course not. Look at you. Look at what your grief has done to you. You came crawling back to me, desperate for a way to find your fairytale ending for Miki Sayaka. What if I told you that Miki Sayaka could be saved if you but allowed her witch to sate her hunger by engulfing every living person in Kazamino and Mitakihara? You couldn't do it, could you? Because there's your father, whispering in your ear about justice and morality and humanity. Underneath your bravado, you lack the heart to kill for Miki Sayaka. You only get one wish, Sakura Kyoko. How unfortunate for you that yours was made to uphold the greatest weakness of a _mahou shoujo_. Humanity."

Homura had lived through this conversation a mere five times, and none of those times had been exact copies. It was a fact that she had always found curious, for certain rules about each magical girl had proven true time and time again, despite how the time loop ran its course. Tomoe Mami would always die, hopefully in ignorance of a magical girl's true nature. Miki Sayaka would always despair into a witch. Kaname Madoka would, regretably, always form a contract with Kyubey. But Sakura Kyoko was always an uncertainty. Sometimes she would arrive in Mitakihara after Mami died, sometimes not. Sometimes she would ally herself with the other magical girls, sometimes not. Sometimes she would despair into the witch Ophelia, sometimes not. And to think that she found Homura irregular! Kyoko had been and always would be a mystery, only as frustrating as she was fascinating.

Therefore, Homura could not have been surprised when Kyoko did the unexpected. Without warning, she tumbled backwards and, as effortlessly as riding upon the wind or falling into a pool of water, somersaulted through the air. The soles of her shoes didn't even make a sound when she touched down upon a chair positioned at the outmost ring of the circle.

Homura's eyebrows disappeared under her bangs when she saw Kyoko rummage through her pockets and pull out a shiny red apple. "Hey, you can't expect me to eat while your creepy eyes are right in front of me," she said before biting into it.

Homura saw reason in Kyoko's argument. While she munched on the apple, not once did Kyoko look away from Homura. Homura could imagine those scrutinizing eyes searching her body for a soul which no longer resided there. The silent judgment made her stomach squirm.

"You know, after Sayaka… after the night at the train station, it was hard to eat," Kyoko said. Her voice was hardly louder than a whisper, but the way it bounced off the empty walls made each word echo in Homura's ears. "I think I only ate once, while I talked to Kyubey, but that was in the hotel room where Sayaka was. And when I glanced over to the bed and saw her lying there… gosh, it's gonna sound stupid… I thought about how she'll never be able to eat food again, and the next thing I knew, I was throwing up on the carpet. It felt pretty absurd, you know? I mean, I've only thrown up once before." She pocketed the shriveled apple core and took out another apple, but instead of biting it, she gazed into its shiny surface.

"It was late at night, I remember," she began in the same hushed tone as before. "Ten-thirty. I always used to time it. After my dad found out about me being a _mahou shoujo_ , I wasn't allowed out of the house. So if I was still gonna fight witches - and what choice did I have? - I had to sneak out when I knew my dad would be away at the parish rectory. Honestly, it wasn't too difficult. He had so many people wanting to talk to him and tell him how he 'inspired' them that he'd have to stay at the rectory for hours responding to letters. Or at least, that's why he'd say he'd do. A lot of the time he'd drink instead. Either way, I knew he'd be out when I got home that night.

"I snuck in through the window in my room - Dad always sealed it, but magic, you know? Heh, I remember telling him that some old twig I had in my pocket was the source of my magic, and so he took it and snapped it in half. Guess he thought that would keep him safe from me. How gullible, right? I guess by that point he would believe whatever made him feel better 'bout his messed-up life. And of course, I had already lied to him so many times. Why not add one more to the top, right?"

The apple shone brighter as more and more droplets of water coated its shimmering surface. "When I got inside, I remember the first thing I smelled was something burning. Yeah, I know, that should have had trouble written all over it. But in my house, fire meant that something was cooking. Even though we weren't starving by that point anymore, some things just sorta stick with you. So I went downstairs, thinking that we were gonna have turkey or cake or something good like that.

"It was quiet too, you know? Second warning sign, probably. But since Dad had started coming home drunk, there was a lot of screaming at nights. I'd have to take my sister Momo into my room and wait for things to die down. So silence was a good thing, I thought. I thought that maybe there'd finally be some goddamn peace… And then I came down the stairs… big smile on my face and all… and…"

The apple fell from her slack grip. "Goddamn, this is stupid," said Kyoko, resting her chin in her hands. "You know the stupid story, don't you, Akemi Homura? Probably heard it so many times that it doesn't mean a damn thing anymore."

Homura felt the warmth in her pocket grow in intensity. Yet her gaze didn't waver, even when she saw Kyoko's eyes visibly rattle around in their sockets. "Hey, you seem to know everything!" she called. "Know what'll happen to me? Am I gonna die like Mami or turn into a witch like Sayaka?"

"I have only witnessed you despair once, Sakura Kyoko," replied Homura. "And in that timeline, you did not despair because of your father, nor Miki Sayaka. You did so because of me. Because I told you to give up hope on Miki Sayaka, and you did as I asked."

"Heh, can't say I'm surprised. Dad always said I was like our cherry blossom tree: tough, but tough people are easily broken. Guess that means you must be a wimp inside, Akemi Homura."

"Hey, don't worry, I'm not planning on trying something with you again," Kyoko added. "Don't really have the energy for that anymore. Besides, we're all wimps, aren't we? Big crybabies dressing up like adults, needing stupid aliens like Kyubey to fix our problems. But you know, sometimes I wonder if it's not so bad to be weak sometimes. At least being weak sounds better than being bitches to each other."

Kyoko tossed another apple in her right hand. "You could have learned from Sayaka, you know? You, me, Tomoe Mami. We all could have learned from her. Because whether you want to admit it or not, there was a time when you were like her, when you believed in the ideal of a _mahou shoujo_."

Much to Homura's surprise, Kyoko started to cradle her head in her hands. "Maybe that's the biggest problem with being a magical girl. It's not just that we make the wrong wishes. It's that we should never have that much power to carry them out. I mean, come on, we were given the chance of a lifetime, the chance to have any miracle come true, and what are we now? The girl who can't fulfill her wish, and the girl with no wish at all."

"All isn't lost for us, you know," Homura said. "We could still fight Walpurgis Night together."

"Heh, you make me sick, you know? Not just by the things you say, either. You fight with guns and explosives. I can smell the gunpowder on you, and it reminds me too much of fire. You probably don't even notice it anymore, but I do. When you only get one chance to live your life, you tend to notice things. This'll probably be the only chance I'll ever get to notice it before I die."

"But you have to fight," Homura insisted.

"Not without Sayaka."

"Do you think Sayaka would want you to let thousands of people die?"

Kyoko tilted her head back to watch the swinging pendulum. "No," she said finally, "she wouldn't. But that doesn't matter to me, not anymore. And before you get on my case, do you honestly think Kaname Madoka would want you to destroy yourself like this?"

Kyoko's laugh was a sound that needed to be broken out of her, like two rocks smashing together to spark a candle flame. "Must have told myself a thousand times what a good person I was, sacrificing my wish for someone else. But really, I was being selfish and narrow-minded. It was a powerful thing, getting to control people like I did the day I made the contract. To know that I'd never have to go hungry again… yeah, I was pretty selfish. You are too, I bet. Under all that crap about suffering to protect Kaname Madoka, you probably don't know what the hell you'd do if didn't have that to keep you from thinking about how awful you are inside. You really hate yourself, don't you, Akemi Homura? Well, tell you what. How about you throw away your life on Kaname Madoka, and I'll throw away mine for Miki Sayaka?"

"I'm not throwing my life away," Homura replied. "I always have a chance at victory. You wish to embark on a suicide mission."

"It's my life; I'll do what I want with it. My soul's gonna be sucked up as energy for the universe anyway, so there's not much more to do that matters."

Homura's eyes narrowed. "You just don't listen to reason, do you, Sakura Kyoko? If you wish to die fighting, you can at least choose the battle that will not leave you to die in vain. Your current venture is hopeless. You have gone down this path before, and it is insanity to go down twice and expect a different destination. As I told you before, as terms of our agreement, give up hope on Miki Sayaka."

"Heh, don't start pulling your pretty hair out. I can't remember the last time I had hope in something. Apparently my soul's something you can bottle inside a shiny jewel with pretty light shows. Humanity's something that can be blown away with a whisper of a wish, according to you. Wouldn't be surprised if hope's something you can throw up onto a burning carpet."

A third apple core safely stowed in the pockets of her hoodie, Kyoko rose and began to walk towards Homura in a perfectly straight line that fell under the shadow of the pendulum. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not human anymore. I've certainly done a lot of things that wouldn't seem human to anyone. But the day I heard my father condemn me to Hell, I felt human; and the night I threw up on my father's body, I felt human; and the moment I saw Sayaka collapse in the train station, I felt human; and even now, in front of you, I feel human. I don't think that feeling can ever go away."

She let her slender fingers trail absentmindedly through the empty air, and a parade of cardboard cut-out puppets danced behind her hand. Soon, a tiny legion of puppets had banded together around Kyoko, leaving Homura to clutch her Soul Gem all the more tightly, its smooth and familiar contours calming her racing heart.

"You were right about one thing, though," she said, handing Homura a patchwork deer atop a stick. "I have been pretty selfish. So if I… if I have to die like my father, then my dying wish will be to save Sayaka, not a crowd of faceless strangers. Faceless strangers dumped cold water on my father and kicked him in the street." Kyoko's eyes darted across the floor, along the walls, anywhere but Homura. "I'll admit, I didn't understand you at all when I first met you. But after tonight… I guess I can kind of pity you, or respect you, or… I don't know, really. I don't know what it's like to sacrifice like you have. But if I can't march to the ends of the earth for Sayaka, then, with what little I have, I'll risk everything for her."

"You can't." Homura visibly trembled when she raised her eyes, as if it were a foreign hand that was clinging to the hem of Kyoko's hoodie. "You only get one wish, to protect the thing you love until the very end."

The puppets trailing behind Kyoko transformed into a rolling sea of mermaids. "This isn't me trying to sell my soul to the devil twice. But with all I've seen, people can be devils too. Maybe there can't be good in people like my father thought. But there was good in her. All I want to do is ask, as a stupid little girl who messed up everything on her own, to get one last chance. One last wish. If there's still a god to answer soulless prayers, my dying wish is to be able to say I could save that goodness from despair. Is that so wrong, Akemi Homura?"

Homura's nails dug into the course fabric, nearly tearing it. "Please," she said, her bangs shielding her eyes from view. "You'll die."

"Heh, we've all got to die sometime, right? As for me, I've had enough of being Kyubey's magical girl. I want to be Sayaka's kind of magical girl, the one from the stories where second chances exist and love and courage always win over evil." A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Yeah, that sounds nice. I want that happy ending."

"No," Homura said in a low voice, then louder. "No! You have to fight Walpurgis Night, you have to! Otherwise I'll… I'll…!"

In one swift motion, Homura kneed Kyoko in the gut, sending her stumbling backwards. Kyoko's eyes narrowed, a feral growl tearing from her throat. She raised her right hand, ready to conjure up her spear, when…

The ring that Homura had slipped off of Kyoko's finger after she had been shot was now pressed against the barrel of her gun.

The puppets behind Kyoko snarled, their lovely siren visages turned harsh in the red light of the Soul Gem in Kyoko's right hand. "Idiot," she said. "Apparently you've repeated this so many times, and you don't remember I have illusion magic?"

Her boots didn't make a sound when she landed on the ground in full magical girl attire. "And to think I pitied you," she said, while Homura sat frozen in place. "Probably should feel sorry for Kaname Madoka instead. Good luck fighting Walpurgis Night, you idiot."

The fake ring crumpled into cardboard, quivering like a shriveled flower petal in Homura's hands. "Wait, you can't go and fight her!" she cried as Kyoko turned face-heel towards the door. "You're going to die, you're going to die! You… You need to help me fight Walpurgis! You need to help me…"

Kyoko tilted back her head so that Homura could catch a glimpse of her right eye shining like fire in the dark hallway in an even darker world outside the dark white apartment.

When Kyoko spoke, her voice was crisp and biting, the taste of air after a storm. "Better luck next time, Incubator."

As Homura fell to her knees, the pendulum swung one more time across the opposite wall. Wherever its shadow passed over, the pictures of Walpurgis Night changed back to the faded stills marking each and every one of Homura's timelines, her failures. They continuously overlapped, too many to count, yet one single voice still echoed loud and clear on a broken record.

_"Homura-chan, will you help me? Will you save me from my stupidity, before I'm fooled by Kyubey? Homura-chan, will you help me? Will you save me from my stupidity, before I'm fooled by Kyubey? Homura-chan, will you help me…?"_

Her Soul Gem was like ice in her hand when she heard Kyoko's ring scrape against the door slamming shut.

* * *

  _"No one has to understand me. No one has to believe me. No… I won't rely on anyone anymore."_

The witch labyrinth was on fire. Blazing bullets flew like wild arrows, tearing down clotheslines and ripping holes through the sky blue wallpaper to reveal a murky blackness beneath. She could feel the heat seeping into her skin, counteracting the whipping winds watering her eyes as she plummeted through the endless sky. Only this time around, there was no other _mahou shoujo_ to break her fall. Reaching out, her hands grabbed hold of the collar of a high school uniform, and she held on for dear life.

_That was the promise she had made eight years ago, wasn't it? She didn't need anyone else, did she? The other mahou shoujo were just distractions. Kaname Madoka was the only one who ever mattered._

When the smoke and gunpowder abated, Homura took a deep lungful of air, fresh as if there had just been a gentle rain shower. Still, the fire around her managed to make a home for itself inside her heaving lungs. Her heart was a bird desperate to escape the flames.

_Then, if all of that was true, seeing Sakura Kyoko… Why did it have to hurt?_

Throughout the labyrinth reverberated the sound of a PA system crackling to life. Then Homura lifted her eyes to see the witch.

Most _mahou shoujo_ never thought about where witches came from. Admittedly, Homura didn't either, if she could avoid it. However, timeline after timeline had taught her that most of the witches that plagued Mitakihara were simply restless wanderers had stumbled in from other towns. Others were witches grown from lone familiars. The remaining few were from those who, upon regretting their wish, despaired immediately after the contract. Stillborn magical girls. The weaker magical girls.

No, weaker wasn't the right word. They were the fortunate ones. They didn't live long enough to truly suffer the spiral into despair.

This witch was one of them. Suzumiya Yume, third year class president at the school. Homura had once sought her out in the hopes of recruiting her in the fight against Walpurgis Night. She remembered her, drenched in rain and sewer water as she lay in an alleyway outside Mitakihara High School. Only two other people besides Homura had been present – well, people would be too kind. Two sinful monsters with the faces of men and the souls of brutes. Homura had been able to see their terror-stricken faces in the light of a shining green Soul Gem. Their hearts had stopped the same time that the light had crumpled into darkness.

The labyrinth was bursting with light from every corner, yet even its radiance could not escape being consumed by the witch's shadow. Her black pleated skirt ruffled in the winds of a typhoon as all six of her arms rose up at once. Already Homura had managed to assault the witch with gun wounds and explosive burns; however, the scars only added to her fearsome appearance when her slender fingers curled into claws. The grand shadow behind her made the white skin glint like knives.

To the witch, this was an intimidation tactic. To Akemi Homura, it was an invitation.

No _mahou shoujo_ paid much thought to the witches, and neither did Homura. Even after learning of their true nature, she still continued to fight them without hesitation. Their souls had already been removed, shielding them from physical pain, and their demise would be a mercy, freeing them from the pain of despair. Their memories were washed away, their minds locked in the throes of madness, their purpose reduced to the destruction of others. Indeed, it was good for them to die.

Then… if that were the case… what was wrong with the school desks? When they exploded, they sounded like rain falling into a gutter. And the sky? The blue sky above her head was not a sky, but an ocean of water without a surface. The six arms, once so fearsome, weren't clawing at Homura, were they? No, they flailed and thrashed about like a child trying to swim with the tide coming in. And somehow, above the roaring din of explosives and artillery, when Homura threw a grenade up the witch's skirt, she could hear a tiny, muffled cry in the rain storm.

Homura was just one droplet of water in the storm as she tumbled through the deteriorating witch labyrinth. There was a strange kind of serenity in the fall: The flying debris kept her within an inch of death, yet she knew the impact would never arrive. Her heart did not race, save for the thrill of feeling as though she were flying.

Her ebony hair fluttered around her face, making it impossible to see. However, she could still hear the dying schoolchildren familiars breathily sing: _"Ring around the rosie, a pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down…"_

Homura felt the labyrinth dissipate, and the alleyway re-solidify around her. Yet she kept her eyes closed, waiting for the telltale chink of metal clattering onto the sidewalk. Instead of picking it up, she stood perfectly still as her eyes watered from the smell of gunpowder.

She curled her hands into fists, nails digging into her palms, and screamed. Her scream echoed loudly in the nighttime. She could not remember the last time she had screamed.

The stench of gunpowder still remained.

Somehow, the outside world had managed to go on during the witch fight. Homura opened her eyes and turned to see flashing neon signs, wailing sirens, racing cars. An excited flurry of busy madness. The only pause in the action was when the stoplights turned red. Homura could see them, two red lights shining like eyes to meet hers. Kyoko's eyes.

Of course, the stoplights weren't really Kyoko's eyes. No, the only pair of red eyes to be found in that alleyway was behind her.

"Wonderful form tonight, Homura."

Akemi Homura spun on her heel and, unthinkingly, shot Kyubey in the head.

Another pair of eyes poked out from behind a dumpster. Homura fired another shot in the dark.

The red eyes returned. Homura still had plenty of rounds.

Red eyes.

_Bang!_

Red eyes.

_Bang!_

Red eyes.

_Bang._

Homura lost track of how many times she had shot Kyubey. Only when her lungs burned, unable to breathe in the sickening gunpowder; her heart - her thrice damned weak heart - fluttered madly in her chest; and her revolver fired its last round did Homura stop and gasp for breath.

After finishing consuming the ninety-sixth white corpse, Kyubey looked up at Homura with red eyes bright as ever. "Feel better?" he asked.

Homura tossed the empty weapon aside in favor of picking up the fallen Grief Seed. She pressed its tip to her murky violet Soul Gem, keeping a stony silence all the while.

"She had a point, you know," said Kyubey, now standing atop a balcony littered with wilted potted plants. "Humans generally don't like being used for ulterior purposes. Well, 'humans' may be a stretch with you lot, but I think you get it."

"That's almost funny, coming from you," replied Homura. Her lips were pressed firmly into a straight line.

"I wasn't chastising you. In fact, it's a nice change for you to do something I can actually understand the reason behind."

Her Soul Gem returned to full luminescence, Homura tossed the used up Grief Seed to Kyubey, who opened his back to begin the purifying process. "Then let me understand something about you tonight. What will you do regarding Sakura Kyoko?"

Kyubey's fluffy white tail swayed back and forth. "She's allowed to do whatever she wants. I have no reason to stop her from confronting Oktavia von Seckendorff."

"So you think she'll actually try?" Her voice was shaky, skeletal, not daring to be robed in anything less certain than rattling bones.

"You should know her better," replied Kyubey, tilting his head to the side. "If she has a goal in mind, she won't give up. A lot like you, really."

Two blinks. That was all the emotion Homura allowed her body to show. And even then, that tiny reflex could have been passed off as her eyes adjusting to the glaring neon lights as she walked out of the alleyway.

Somehow, Kyubey's eyes managed to glow brighter. "So, you did it for Kaname Madoka?" he asked while keeping a brisk, even pace at her side. "Interesting. I had already deduced you traveled through time, but for her? I wonder…"

"It doesn't matter what you 'wonder' about Kaname Madoka," snapped Homura. At this time of night, she hadn't bothered to change out of her _mahou shoujo_ outfit. Her heels stabbed at the sidewalk with each step. A constant reminder of who she was, and who she had to be. "She won't make the contract."

"My, my, you're certain of that? Just because you wished it to be so?"

Her long, silken locks of hair were shadowy tendrils blending into the darkness. "Yes, that's correct. You may have deceived us all, but one thing is for certain: a _mahou shoujo_ always gets her wish."

A shudder passed through Homura's body when she heard the first footstep that landed not upon coarse pavement, but smooth glass. Just by the sounds around her, she knew where she was. How curious it was, the way places latched on to memories. She could almost hear the murmuring of memories overlapping, an undertone beneath the sound of cars racing like a current of water beneath the bridge. This was the bridge over where Tomoe Mami almost died in a car crash, and where hundreds more would die at the month's end. This was the bridge where Madoka had tossed away Sayaka's soul, just as she would soon do with her own. This bridge, this sturdy bridge, was the place where everything came crashing down.

"A _mahou shoujo_ also has a duty to battle witches," Kyubey countered. "Do you truly believe you and Sakura Kyoko alone can vanquish Walpurgis Night? You're just fooling yourselves. Although, if I'm going to be fair, probably a whole legion of _mahou shoujo_ can't stand against the power of Kriemhild Gretchen."

Homura screeched to a halt. "What… what did you say?"

"Oh, we know all the witch names of contracted _mahou shoujo_ ," Kyubey continued pleasantly. "Your souls whisper them to us when you contract. My, my, I wonder what yours will be…"

Kyubey had walked more than halfway across the bridge before realizing Homura wasn't following. With a swish of his bushy tail, he turned to face her. "Do you ever think about it? About what you'd be like as a witch? Most _mahou shoujo_ never realize their fate in advance, you see. I'd be curious to know how you view your impending demise."

A sudden gust of wind blew a single green leaf from a tree to settle in the no-man's land between the magical girl and the Incubator. "Unless you don't believe you will become a witch? How unfortunate. I thought you were smarter than that. You are one of millions of humans who have become _mahou shoujo_ , and all of them have met the same fate. What makes you any different from them?"

"That's simple," said Homura, the ring like ice around her finger. "I'm not human anymore. Humanity would just be a weakness."

"Which is why you choose to manipulate those who retain it? Even Incubators can respect the karmic energy of human emotions."

Homura would have sworn that Kyubey's cat-like smile widened. "You know, your souls don't just whisper," he said, his white body otherworldly in the silver moonlight. "They scream as well. When we purify the Grief Seeds, we can hear them scream inside our heads. Of course, this alone wouldn't mean anything. Any beast can scream when in pain. But they scream their _names_. You say the witch back there was Suzumiya Yume. All I can hear is 'Patricia'. Interesting, isn't it?"

"It doesn't surprise me," said Homura. "You Incubators take away everything when you take our hope. Our minds, our hearts, our very sense of who we are."

"And yet you still continue onwards, even when it's hopeless. Just what do you think you're going to accomplish? Your fate was inevitable from the day you contracted. My, my, my, perhaps the Akemi Homura who made her wish was gone long ago, and the person before me is but an echo in the mirror. Even if you do somehow succeed in saving Madoka, what part of you will she be left with to love?"

Somewhere in the distance, a bell tolled the midnight hour. Still wearing that same smug expression, Kyubey began to walk away from Homura.

"Thank you ever so much for the valuable information you have given us, Akemi Homura. I'm sure it will be of great help to the Incubators."

For the longest moment, all Homura was aware of was the ice in her hand and the fire in her lungs and the fluttering in her heart and the stone in her veins and the gunpowder in her hair and the knowing red eyes boring into her soul.

"Perhaps Sakura Kyoko does have a point. It seems better to die in hope than to live and become like you."


End file.
